3 Things People Do To Kill Your Dream

kill your dreamYou have what you believe is a great idea, and in your enthusiasm, you share that idea expecting support but instead your dream is shot down and killed. Why do people kill your dream instead of supporting it?

It happens with other people trying to “help” or to be practical, or maybe they just want to play devil’s advocate. Regardless of the motive, the result is the same; your excitement is crushed, your vision goes away, and you end up saying things like, “they are right, it was a dumb idea anyway.”

This happened to me a long time ago with my first company in fact. My intention was to start small and build this company penny by penny using what I called back then my “beer money.” It was completely doable and I was excited and had been working on plans and ideas for the business for months. However, when I shared my news and my idea with my partner, the first destructive blow which was veiled in the form of a question was, “Where are we going to get the money?” It was asked in a way which was intended to completely derail my plans… and that it did.

After that, my dream was not as shiny anymore and I lost interest over time. Looking back though, I understand that ultimately it was I, and my inability to manage my feelings on the subject that caused me to buckle and give up.

3 Things People Do To Kill Your Dream

Whatever your dream may be, there will always be people who try to shoot it down. Don’t let them and do not allow them to kill your dream. You need to pursue it anyway. Here are three ways other people will try to shoot down your dreams, and the ways you can overcome it and make your dream come true anyway – without them.

  1. People will criticize your dream. – Most people are very judgmental and they view life in terms of “black and white” or “right vs. wrong” instead of seeing the world in shades of gray. If your ideas are different than theirs, you will probably hear why you are wrong and you will receive criticism. Don’t buy into it because doing so will just destroy and kill your dream. Criticism from other people is more about them and their fears than it is about you. Their thoughts may be, “What if he/she succeeds? Then maybe I will look like a loser.” You must realize that this is their problem and not yours.
  2. People will make fun of your dream. – Teasing and joking is just a different form of criticizing. But remember, that behind every joke (as well as a lie) there is always some element of truth. A criticism hidden behind a joke or something intended to be funny is still a criticism. Be aware of these shots taken at your dream and recognize them for what they are which is just another way that people will try to sabotage your dreams, goals, and ambitions.
  3. People may ignore you and your dream altogether. – Avoidance is a very common way for people to deal with anything that makes them uncomfortable. So if pursuing your dream makes someone uncomfortable, they may just take the avoidance route. Their discomfort might stem from them being reminded of how they are not going after their own dreams or they are so pessimistic about life that they simply cannot see how anyone’s dream could ever come true. Again… remember that this is their problem, not yours.

The bottom line is that you should never allow anyone to derail your dreams and ambitions. When anyone attempts to do just that – it is always has more to do with their fears and insecurities than it has to do with you dream or your abilities to make it happen.

Don’t allow yourself to get put into a position where you begin to defend your dream. Becoming defensive only creates more energy that is negative and will distract you from you goals and ambitions. Instead, thank them for their input, or ask them if they would like to talk more about it, but in either case, commit to move on.

Sometimes it is best to keep your dreams to yourself. Many people suggest that when you define your goals to refrain from sharing them with others just to avoid the hassle of having to explain, defend, and justify your dream altogether. My take on it is that if you are going to share your dream, just make sure it is with others who are like-minded and will be supportive, not those whom you know will kill your dream from the onset. Tell the people you know who will help you and as far as anyone else is concerned, just let them see your successes and results afterwards. (Ironically, those would-be detractors will also be the ones who later say, “I always knew they could do it.)

Above all else, just remember this: Don’t give up! It’s simply too easy to believe all the negativity and buy into the fact that your dream is unreasonable when you listen to the negative commentary of others. Believe in yourself and believe that nothing is impossible. If you want anything in this life bad enough, you will find a way to make it happen, so do that. Never allow anyone to kill your dreams.

Have you ever had anyone try to kill your dream or sabotage it? How did you handle it? If they succeeded, what would you do differently this time around?

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – A Certified Life Coach In Aspen Colorado

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Photo By Andy Wooten 31 December 2014

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