6 Keys To Rejecting Rejection

Rejection is not fun and we all fear it. But we have two choices – we can either let the fear of rejection limit and control our lives, or we can learn how to handle rejection with grace and ease.

On the outside, it may look as if no one else in the world is afraid, but everyone is afraid of something. What we have to do is push through fear and worry, and do what we want to do anyway. For example, this blog… when I decided to make writing this blog daily as a part of my outreach to help people, I had a lot of fear. Would people think I was serious, legitimate, and trustworthy, or would they think that I was a presumptuous hack? Seriously, even to this day sometimes when I hit the “publish” button, I wonder.

But the best way to handle that kind of fear or any other fear is to remove your emotions from the situation and look at things more analytically. When you look at your fears in black and white, most of them will shrink down to nothing. My writing goal in the simplest terms is that if one piece helps one person, regardless if 100 others were not impacted, then my goal was met. Taking that point of view, my confidence increased, minimizing my fears and worries.

If you struggle with rejection, or thoughts of rejection, here are 6 keys to rejecting rejection that will help you to see if your fears are warranted or not:

  1. Ask yourself, what is the worst that could happen? – Using my blog as an example, if I were to write and publish something, what is the worst that could happen? People could laugh at me or think I’m an idiot. Worse, nobody might ever read it! So the worst-case scenario is that someone might not read what I write, or I could end up embarrassed. I’m not going to die, the world is not going to stop spinning, and life as we know it will not end…
  1. If the worst were to happen, could you live with it? – Well, yes, I could live with it and I have! I’ve had articles flop, I’ve upset people, and I have people disagree. These things are not pleasant but none of it was life threatening either. It just inspires me to write something better the next day.
  1. If the worst were to happen, would you lose anything? – This is a tricky one but in all reality, the answer is no. I might lose a reader, or someone might think that I am an idiot. The worst thing that I might lose would be my pride if that got hurt a little but no loss would be permanent. By accepting this, I am actually building my self-esteem and overcoming the fear of the losing anything if the worst thing were to happen.
  1. What’s the best possible outcome? – This is what I look at and live for, and what keeps me writing day after day. The best outcome is that I can help people and inspire them to live better lives. By writing every day, I get to hone my skills and become a better writer. Focusing on this alone gives me great confidence and motivation to stick to it. And who knows, maybe someday something that I write could just go viral.
  1. Compare the worst result with the best possible outcome. – If the worst result were that nobody read something that I wrote or they think I am a jerk, or whatever… and the best result is that I inspire, motivate and compel people to action and they live more fulfilling lives as I become a more seasoned writer, then I would say the best possible outcome outweighs the worst.
  1. Based on reality, what is the most likely outcome? – My fear of rejection would be significantly greater if I was to focus on myself solely, but if I remember my true reason for writing, which is to serve people, that fear vanishes. And since I have been at this a while, I have a pretty good feeling about how most articles will be received. So my experiences of articles being both accepted and rejected has given me enough confidence to weigh the possible outcomes.

It takes a lot to master rejection and like most things that we must learn, it takes repetition. The more you deal with rejection the better you will be at handling it. And once you master it,  you yourself will be skilled in the art of rejecting rejection.

How do you deal with rejections? Are you able to turn a “No” into “Next!”

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – Certified Life Coach – Aspen, Colorado

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