The Biggest Question – What Do You Want?

I did an interview earlier this week and the host asked me… “What is the biggest challenge your clients face when they come to you for help and guidance?”

I replied that most people and clients when they come to me just have no idea what it is that they want. That is exactly why that when I begin working with a new client, even before the first session I give them homework. A master manifestation list which asks them in detail to write out what they want in all areas of life to send to me before our first session.

Why do most people have an unclear vision or idea of what they want in life? For starters I would say that most people just don’t ever sit and really think about it. Their lives are on autopilot and they may have a lot of soft-wants or whims, but no clear idea. It is just something that they have never put any energy towards figuring out.

Another issue is that people tend to want what they think they should want. Their desires and life plans are fully dependent on the expectations of others such as family, friends, co-workers, etc. As if that isn’t bad enough, mass media does a wonderful job of telling us, 24×7, what we should want and go after in life. They in turn are never satisfied, and can not understand why they are unhappy even when they get the things they are supposed to want. They consume or achieve, but the results never positively impact their lives. We succumb to the programming of society and in the end still have an unclear picture in our minds as to what we want in life.

Lastly, I answered that people are good at telling you what they don’t want in life but struggle when it comes to focusing on what they do want. Have you ever known anyone who constantly says what they do not want? Typically, they can tell you 1000 things that they do not want but when it comes to verbalizing what they want, they just can’t do it. Only focusing on what you do not want is very much like saying can’t because it implies that you do not believe you can, have, or deserve what you want in life.

Not knowing what you want in life is a very serious trap and an impediment to having a high quality of life. That is the biggest challenge I see my clients having when they come to me. Usually after the first session, we have hammered out exactly what it is the client wants in their career, relationships, personal growth, and so on. There is not a tool, method, process, or therapy under the sun that can help move you in any direction unless you have a clear idea of what it is that you want and the results you want to see for yourself.

Ask yourself…

What do I want?

What are my goals?

What would excite me?

Are you clear on what you want in life and your goals? Is defining those things a conscious practice in your life?

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – Life Coach – Aspen, Colorado


  1. […] There is not a tool, method, process, or therapy under the sun that can help move you in any directi…. […]

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