Can We Really Change?

can we really changeOne of my best friends once told me that he did not believe that we are truly capable of change. That “what we are” at the core never changes and that is that. Can we really change or are we destined just to be who we are regardless?

Several years ago, I read a book. I do not remember the title or the author but there was a passage in that book which had a significant impact on me and it is something that I often ponder.

The author put forth the idea that we never change but instead, as we age through life, we merely become more of who we are or what we are. For instance, if you are an introvert in your 20’s you will be even more so introverted later in life, potentially reclusive. If you are vibrant and outgoing, those traits would only become magnified over time as well.

Personally, that whole concept scares me a little bit. To think that what I was and who I was in my 20’s and 30’s and to become more of “that” rather than becoming who and what I am now… That is not a pretty picture as I could potentially be the world’s biggest butthead because I was a pretty big butthead even back then.

Can we really change? I have to believe the answer is yes because what I do is to help people to change if they want to. My business and my job is based 100% on the fact that people can and do change.

Can We Really Change?

Yes! I believe the answer is yes. Everyone has the ability to change, to grow, to develop and to evolve though life. Then why do some people never change and potentially just become “more of who they are” instead?

The simplest answer to that question is that people do not change because they either do not want to nor do they need to. If you were narrow-minded and maybe even intolerant, yet those who are of the same mindset surround you… then chances are you would not want to change or need to change because embracing or being open to new ideas would have no purpose in your life. In addition, as the author that I mentioned pointed out, chances are high that you would just become more narrow-minded and intolerant throughout life as well.

Can we really change? Yes and especially so if we want to and need to. If you get to the point in your life where “something” must change, and it must change now in order to be content, happier, or just improve your life because life is now longer working, chances are you are going to try to do anything to move you into another direction. Or at the very least, have the desire to move life into another direction if needed.

Every minute of every day, we have the choice to do something different from what we did before and by doing something different, you are almost guaranteed to come up with a different result. I am a firm believer that the smallest change can yield results and usually advise that is the exact place to start, with the small things.

Change your brand of deodorant, cologne or perfume, or shampoo to something that makes you feel more confident, and you will act more confident. A small almost seemingly insignificant external change could create a huge internal shift, in this case attitude and confidence, which in turn could create greater external impacts as you go through your day with more confidence.

They say our external world reflects our inner world and our inner world is primarily comprised by our beliefs. Beliefs, which are no more than habituated thoughts that we choose to embrace as true. Can we really change… again the answer is yes because just as easy at it is to choose a different brand of deodorant, you can just as easily decide to practice “new thoughts” which in turn become “new beliefs”  that make up our inner world thus transmuting the external.

If you are struggling with wanting to change something in your life, and you have identified what that something is, but still question whether you can change or not, I hope this helps.

Because after having a need or want to change, the greatest agent of change that you possess is your belief that you can.

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – A Certified Life Coach In Aspen Colorado

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Photo by Andy Wooten 24 August 2007

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