Flunked Mind Reading? We All Have!

flunked mind readingOne of my favorite’s co-workers of all time was fond of saying, “I don’t know… I flunked mind reading.” But he isn’t the only one… all of us… everyone has flunked mind reading and that lends itself to a host of other issues…

Everyone Flunked Mind Reading

Okay… to be clear… it isn’t that we flunked mind reading or can’t read minds that causes problems, it is the lack of communication that makes mind reading necessary that is the issue.

It is neat phenomenon that I have been witnessing and observing lately… and that is that it isn’t what you do our how you do something that causes people angst, stress, frustration, etc… it’s that the information or the intent was either poorly communicated or not communicated at all.

For instance… you have a task, maybe it is doing something at home or maybe even a work project and due to shifting priorities, you have to triage what is most important, doing that first, and then moving down the list. That is something that we all have to do from time to time…

But if you fail to communicate “exactly” what you are doing to your boss, co-workers, or spouse… they can be left confused as to what it is that you are actually doing and why because they like everyone else flunked mind reading too!

We have all flunked mind reading but we are all AWESOME at making assumptions and without the proper information, most of us tend to assume the worse… so while you are busy toiling away and thinking everything is okay, others may be assuming that you are procrastinating, or blowing of your commitment to them and what needs to be done.

And you can imagine where all of that leads…

This is why communicating is so important… this is why communicating even the smallest details are even more important… what you take for granted that someone should just “figure out” or “know” or if you believe they can read your mind can often lead to the greatest disagreements in life.

If you plan to be late… let whoever is impacted know… if you plan to be early… do the same. If you are planning a meeting, communicate that so that everyone can be on the same page schedule wise… If you pull the hamburger out of the freezer for your partner to make dinner… make sure you communicate what the exact plan is so that they don’t make hamburger helper when you were expecting them to make meatloaf.

In my business and working with clients what we focus on is changing behavior… changing how things are done so that a more desired result occurs rather than the same old undesired ones. However, part of transmuting the success of changed behavior is also communicating with those who need to know, what you are doing and why you are doing it. Trust me… if you are making a lot of life changes and your partner or those closest to you do not understand why, it can lead to some very confused minds… Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

One of the Four Agreements as explained by don Miguel Ruiz is to never make assumptions. With that in mind… I challenge you always to communicate your intentions so that nobody has to make an assumption…  Because just like you and I… they flunked mind reading as well!

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – A Certified Life Coach In Aspen Colorado

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Photo By Rob Timko 31 December 2015

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