How To Be Happy – The Two Rules

There-Are-Two-Rules-ToI do not recall the context of the conversation with my stepmother when I was a kid but we were discussing things and the gist of it came down to what she told me… “You can be happy in a hell hole, or you can be miserable in paradise… it’s your choice.”

That was pretty heavy stuff for a teenager to absorb and though I did not fully grasp it at the time, I was at least smart enough to file it away for future reference.

Now that I am older I have refined being happy down to two simple rules:

1. Decide to be happy.

2. See rule number 1.


But when it comes to feeling or being happy, I do believe that more goes into being happy than we realize. I believe that being happy is a practice that fosters the rewiring of the brain and it all ties into getting what you want out of life.

The absolute most important thing to be in this life is to be happy. After all, isn’t that what everybody wants? Movies are made about it… books and courses created to teach it, relationships entered and exited in the pursuit of it. Happiness is pretty much the number one goal on everybody’s mind.

But why is something that is so sought after also so elusive? Why is it challenging for many people to be happy?

Of course there are many sayings about happiness… that it’s an inside job… or that happiness doesn’t come from getting what you want but wanting you have, etc. But do these sayings actually mean anything?

Happiness takes work just like everything else. Happiness is the overall accumulation of small doses of contentment added over time. As well, happiness just sometimes comes from the decision to be just that. See rule #1 above.

In the process of creating the best life possible, you must start with happiness. How can you expect to get what you want in life if you are not happy with what you have now?

It is a scientific fact that things happen in life that depress us. Losses of jobs, relationships, loved ones… things like this are painful and typically depress us. But these things are also situational. They occur at a point in time but time passes on, we move past them.

But what happens to the brain when a lot of losses and pain accumulate in an intense sequence of over time? The brain learns to be sad and depression sets in. Left in this state for too long of a time, actual physical and chemical changes occur within the body and sadness is the only state than can be physically or mentally experienced. Usually by this time, the only course of action my be treatment with one of many anti-depressants which are so heavily prescribed in today’s society.

If this is true then so is the opposite condition; Just as the brain can become wired or conditioned for being down, it can also be programmed for being up!

Happiness is expansive. If you practice being happy, you will be come more satisfied and joyful in life. Once you achieve that level of happiness, hold it… hold it with all you have and soon you will become even more happy over time.

It takes practice, it really does but once the shifts occur internally and being happy becomes the default state, even when the not so pleasant things happen in life, the punches aren’t as bad. Be down, feel what you feel, but be willing to let it go and find happiness again.

Sometimes you have to start small to achieve the shift. For me it used to be just sitting in the sun and looking at my favorite tree and focusing on being happy in and of itself. That small action would set up the next situation for me to be happy in and before I knew it, my mood would ultimately improve until I was satisfied with just how everything was in life in that moment.

Find your happiness. Hold onto your happiness. Share your happiness. The world needs you to be happy in order to make the best contribution that you can during this lifetime.

And guess what? Here is the kicker! If you are happy, you are operating on a higher frequency… you are shining brighter. You are then set up to attract more positive and brighter things in life, without exception. The expansion occurs when you shine brighter, attract more and then shine brighter as a result. Just call it the happiness snowball effect!

And it is exactly that snowball effect that propels you past the abundance threshold in life!

That is the secret. The ultimate secret, be happy. Fake it if you have to starting off. Or just work on being happy for moments at a time, but work on it! Soon those moments will increase in duration and even in intensity and before you know it the brain will know nothing else except for how to be happy.  The result being exponential growth and abundance in life.

Do whatever it takes to get there but the most important thing to do is to decide to be happy.  Whatever it takes.

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – Certified Life Coach – Aspen, Colorado


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