How To Avoid Disappointment

how to avoid disappointmentNobody likes to be disappointed and we try to avoid it because after all, it is sort of a yucky feeling, right? There is a secret about how to avoid disappointment and it is the simplest thing ever.

How To Avoid Disappointment

The number one cause of disappointment is when our expectations and reality do not match up… in that way it’s a lot like stress.

You expect to get paid $100 for doing a job and you only get paid five dollars… that’s a huge disappointment. Your expectations for what you were going to get paid versus the reality of what you did get paid are vastly different.

That is an extreme example but I think you get it. Disappointment is compounded even further when we focus more on what we do not have or what we did net get in comparison to what we do have.

The trap that we fall into which causes us the most disappointment in life is that instead of expecting something to be one way or another, we take it a step further and in a sense demand that things, or life just be a certain way.

Of course, life does not work out like that.

So here is the secret about how to avoid disappointment…

Instead of demanding or expecting something to be exactly the way you want it to be… Prefer it to be that way instead.

When you have an attitude that something is a preference rather than a hardbound expectation, you can relax about it and things always work out better when you are relaxed about them, right?

It even works with other people unbelievably… I think most of us when presented with a demand or something that we “must do” we are prone to rebel and push back. However, when a requester phrases something as a preference instead of a demand… we tend to be more agreeable.

By no means am I suggesting to “expect less” out of life and of yourself because ultimately the higher the expectations, the higher the performance. But when things do not turn out as planned or wanted, acknowledge that, and acknowledge what your preference may have been instead of your insistence that since it isn’t exactly what you wanted, that all is lost, thus creating feelings of disappointment.

Preferring something rather than insisting or demanding is how to avoid disappointment.

Here is an example… “I would have preferred to have written this article nine hours ago.” That is true… but I had other things to today that made that impossible. But since it was only a preference, it opens me up to other options such as writing it now when I do have time.

Give it shot and try it out for yourself. Prefer… do not demand and see how much easier things get for you.

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – A Certified Life Coach In Aspen Colorado

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Photo By Andy Wooten 16 March 2016

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