During my break of not writing in January, just because I was not writing, it did not mean that I was not thinking of things to write about. One day while working on my torn hamstring, I contemplated the virtues of letting go versus holding on.
Letting Go Versus Holding On
When you look at the “energy cost” it is obvious that letting go is always more efficient than holding on. However, as humans we are programmed (nearly to a fault) to always hang on and to always hang on to EVERYTHING regardless of whatever we are hanging on to is healthy for us or not. So when you look at letting go versus holding on – letting go often just makes more sense.
Just to be clear, when I refer to letting go versus holding on, I do not imply that letting go always equals quitting or giving up on something just because, but more so about detaching ourselves form situations, people, and things that no longer serve us; or even letting go of people because maybe we no longer serve for his or her greater good.
The day that I was soaking my hamstring in nearly boiling hot water to loosen it up the thought came to me… in terms of our relationships, specifically romantic ones, some of us find it impossible to let go. We fight to hold onto the relationship and in turn fight to hold on to our relationship partners as well. And in the context of relationships, sometimes other people just let us go… and maybe sometimes even outright reject us.
But if another person lets us go, rejects us, or pushes us away, does it necessarily mean that they do not love us, do not like us, or love us less?
In this instance, looking at letting go versus holding on – I came to this conclusion… that maybe sometimes, letting go is actually a higher or greater act of love than holding onto someone.
Maybe you yourself have let people go in your life even though you may have wanted to keep them. More than loving someone and holding on desperately to him or her, you actually had a greater love for them that allowed you to let them go and letting them go was the ultimate expression of love that you could ever perform. Maybe you loved them enough to let them go, knowing that was best for them.
It’s a loose concept but I think you get the idea…
Perhaps the greatest expression of love is not in holding on but in letting go, and loving someone enough to let him or her go to have the life that he or she is meant to have – without you. When you think about it, could there be a more selfless act of love beyond outright giving up your life, a relationship, or “what you want” for another? Probably not…
It takes more love to let a person go than it does to hold onto them, at least I think so now.
We tend to be sad and focus on loss but instead we should be joyful and grateful for what we had and be open to what is to come next without expectations or attachment.
Of course I could be wrong and maybe this is just my way of making sense of certain things that I have experienced and witnessed in life, but it is worth thinking about…
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Photo By Andy Wooten 13 March 2005