Sometimes You Just Have To Be Mad

Sometimes You Just Have To Be MadSometimes you just have to be mad. Maybe it is something you did… or maybe it is something that someone else did. It does not matter why you might be mad… it only matters that you eventually get through it.

Regardless of the cause, sometimes you just have to be mad and angry and go through the “anger” in order to get to the other stuff in life, such as forgiveness.

Some thoughts on anger; Anger is a secondary emotion, not a primary feeling. It arises out of fear, frustration, hurt, or some combination of those three things. It is real and we feel it regardless of the source, and its okay to feel anger, just as long as we are not stuck there.

Maybe you made a mistake and you are mad at yourself. More than likely you are disappointed in yourself for not meeting your own expectations. Maybe you just screwed up royally and the consequences are heavy requiring a lot of time and maybe even money to clean up. It happens.

Personally, I say go ahead and go for it… if you are going to be mad, be mad… go all in and get it out of your system but make darned sure that once you are done, be done… forgive yourself (and others if you need to) and move on.

Much of what I write in this Blog is based on personal experience or observation and this article is not any different. I am a little pissed at myself right now and it stems mostly from disappointment and frustration. I have been trying to “spin” the story, the event, and the mistake in my mind for weeks now but I have finally come to the point where I must face the truth… I made a mistake in the form of a worthless business investment. Sometimes you just have to be mad and this is a time for me to do exactly that.

When we make mistakes we are faced with two choices… we can get mad and stay mad and moan on about it relentlessly or we can go the other route… go ahead, get mad, be disappointed, but also accept the facts for what they are… a failure or mistake happened, so what… but what can you learn from it? Not only what you can learn from it…but also find a way to be grateful for that lesson as well!

At a minimum you will have new information that you previously did not have, and in my case, I know what to not do again.

Sometimes You Just Have To Be Mad

Sometimes you just have to be mad and that is what I am probably going to be for a few more days. I am okay with that as I see this as all being part of the process of me “getting over it.” Once I am done being mad, then I will forgive myself, move on, and know that the investment I made was not a good one… lesson learned, and in the future I will not be throwing any more “good money” after “bad.” (As a side note: I wrote this article over a week ago and have had the time to “get over it” which I now am. I just had to let myself go there first.)

Anger is our choice. We choose to respond in anger when something happens to us that is outside of our control. It’s a normal response, even a good response, when it’s controlled. But we are also the ones to choose to hold on to anger or let it go. You have to get through it but you also have to let it go in order to move on.

Get mad if you must… but get it over with, get past it, and get going…

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – Certified Life Coach – Aspen, Colorado

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Photo By Andy Wooten  27 August 2010

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