Stop Being Nice

stop being niceDo I want people to like and accept me? Sure… who doesn’t. But quite honestly if anyone ever describes me I hope that “nice” is not a word they use. Stop being nice and start being authentic instead.

Stop Being Nice

For the most part, we are all raised to be nice. Don’t rock the boat, get along with everyone, and do whatever it takes to fit in. Through our upbringing, we are taught that it is more important to be liked than to be, to say, and to do the things that make us exactly who we are.

The problem is this… nice is nothing… it is not authentic, it is not exciting, it is not bold, it is not confident, it is not ambitious, and in the end it is not helpful to you or anyone else for that matter.

Stop being nice – nice is boring.

But there is a more insidious side of being nice and that is explained quite well in the book by Robert A. Glover, No More Mr. Nice Guy. And that is that “nice people” quite often have a hidden agenda. It is true, regardless of if you believe it or not.

A person who is always nice is more than likely the person who wants something from you and they don’t get it just because they are nice… no… they get it because unknown to you, by accepting their being nice, and the nice things they do, you are entering into an unwritten contract of sorts. The “nice person” silently expects you to do something for them because they were nice and did something for you first. That sounds a little (a lot) passive aggressive, right?

Who knows… maybe this describes you a little bit… if it does then stop being nice just to get what you want and start being direct. Stop being nice and use your voice instead to speak up and ask for what it is that you want.

Now don’t get me wrong… I’m not saying to go out and be dick to the world, that is not what I am saying at all. Be a good person, always, and strive to always do good. But be certain to always check your intentions when you are doing so.

Instead of wanting to be liked and accepted… give up on that, stop being nice and start being your awesome self, just the way you are. Or as Kurt Cobain said, “I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.”

For me, personally, I would much prefer to be remembered or described as having an impact instead of just being nice…

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – A Certified Life Coach In Aspen Colorado

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Photo By Andy Wooten 06 June 2016

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