The Bad Side Of Fear

It is useful to have a certain amount of fear, after all, it is what keeps us alive and stops us from doing things we really shouldn’t. But what about the other side, the bad side of fear? Fear can cut two ways by attracting the very things we are afraid of and also by preventing us from moving forward in life.

But what is fear, really? Fear is an energetic and emotional state. Many emotions such as anger, jealousy, hurt, and envy all share a component of fear or are a direct product of fear.

One of my favorite songs, Crazy Mary, written by Victoria Williams, describes the impact of fear perfectly… “That what you fear the most could meet you halfway.”

That sums it up right there. The more you fear something, the more you experience and feel that energy, the more likely you are to attract (and attract very quickly) that very same thing you wish to avoid. If you fear losing your job, or a relationship, or your home, and constantly resonates from that state, then the likelihood of that loss occurring will grow exponentially through time. It is unavoidable and it will happen.

Some people live their entire lives from a place of fear. Can you imagine what that might look like? I have seen it first-hand and it is not pretty. A life full of fear lacks joy, love and happiness. Living in fear forces one to avoid anything that may present even the slightest risk. The worst part is that by living a life of fear, a person can end up experiencing self-fulfilled prophecy after self-fulfilled prophecy. Why? Because that is what they focus on and therefore attract. Their fears DO meet them halfway.

Not only does fear attract negative events, experiences and situations, when you are stuck in fear you also repel anything that might come along that might be good and or positive. At a minimum, trapped in your fears you are unable to recognize a good thing when you see it.

Then there is the other bad side of fear, the immobilizing aspect that causes you to freeze up and to “be stuck.” If you are living in a place of fear, you may be unable to move, lacking the courage and conviction to go after what you really want. This would be a life where someone is afraid to achieve, afraid to try, and fearful to pursue their dreams. Then don’t forget at the same time drawing negative experience after a negative experience into their reality.

The worse case scenario regarding fear would have you would be stuck in one place while constantly and continually attracting negative events, people, and circumstances while simultaneously repelling anything of a positive or good nature.

So how do you avoid the fear trap altogether? Honestly, I don’t believe you can but your best option and the first step is that when you are fearful to simply acknowledge it and be aware of it. Identify your fear and name it. Bring it out into the open, which will in turn greatly remove the power from your fear. Fear exists… notice it, acknowledge it, but refrain from giving any more power to it in order to prevent it from growing and taking over your life.

Yoda nailed it when he explained fear to Luke Skywalker, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”  Taken into context, fear leads to negative emotions, and negative emotions lead to negative circumstances.

Fear is real and we all have it to one degree or another. In terms of creating the life you desire, fear will push you away from the things you want and it will hold you in place and prevent any movement towards it.  Fear will draw things into your life that can keep you so busy with “drama” that you may forget where you wanted to go, what you wanted to be, or wanted to achieve altogether.

The key is to recognize your fear, but do not give power to it. Name your fear and it will lose its power over you.

Do you think that fear acts as a magnet in your life? Have you ever “feared” yourself into a situation or experience that you were trying to avoid altogether? How do you manage the fear in your life?

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – Certified Life Coach – Aspen, Colorado

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