The Illusion Of Control

illusion of controlA few days ago, I happened to see a photo of myself that was taken in 2002. What I saw was not at all how I see myself today, instead I saw a person who was unmistakably miserable.

The Illusion Of Control

Miserable, unhappy, unfulfilled, downright tired and exhausted, and looking back I know why. Back then, I believed that I had the ability to control everything. My life, my career, my relationships, and even to some degree that would include controlling all of those around me. No wonder I looked so TIRED!

I truly believed that I could control it all but in reality it was just an illusion of control. Because when you get right down to it, there is not much in life that we truly can directly influence in one direction or the other.

Looking at the photo, I believe the words that I said was “That man died a very long time ago.” And all that I can say now is “good riddance!”

For the most part, life is uncontrollable… that’s just life. Yet you discover great personal freedom and even power when you learn how to take control of what you do have power over instead of wrestling for control over everything you don’t.

What you can control in life is your response to things that happen and really that’s about all. And how you choose to respond to life’s events is where you find your true power and the extent of your control. Anything else or anything beyond that is just an illusion of control.

Life is uncontrollable, the only constant is change, and the only thing you can be certain of is that there will always be some uncertainty. Instead of fighting that uncertainty, try to be open to it rather than exhausting yourself trying to resist it.

One of my friends once told me, “Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved.” And when he told me that it was his way of impressing upon me to give up trying to figure it all out all of the time and to quit trying to control every little thing. When he told me this, I knew he was right, but trust me… it has taken me many years to get from there to here and to truly grasp it and live it.

The only thing we have control over in life is ourselves and anything beyond that is just an illusion of control. Life is like driving a car, and the tighter you hold the wheel the greater your chances are of wrecking. Steer gently and stay in your own lane!

“Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within.”Eckhart Tolle

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – A Certified Life Coach In Aspen Colorado

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Photo By Andy Wooten 12 August 2011

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