The Power Of Silence

the power of silenceIt is important to use your voice to ask for what you want and what you do not want. And it is even more important to use your voice to express your authentic self, but never underestimate the power of silence in your interpersonal communications.

The Power Of Silence

To put is simply… sometimes it is just best and overall beneficial to keep your damned trap shut. Keeping quiet is a choice; it is a decision that you can make which will allow your brain to override your mouth.

Talking to a client last night about this very thing, although my client had not said anything aloud, “her voice” was still heard by reacting to an email and writing back rather than waiting a few beats before responding. By reacting off the cuff and by not utilizing the power of silence, my client forfeited a great deal of leverage when it comes to solving the issue at hand.

Do not believe me? Then why does every “player” handbook out there say more or less the same thing. Some dude is trying to woo a potential woman and for him to get from point A to point B as quickly and safely as possible… what do the books say he should do? Shut up… let her do the talking, ask HER questions… because the more a guy talks, the more likely he is going to say something stupid and shoot himself down in the process.

That is the power of silence right there… it works in pursuing mates, but just as well in all everyday encounters with others. Just because someone tells you a story about his or her vacation, it does not mean that you must respond with a story about yours… The best play here is to shut up and ask MORE questions about theirs… and you know what? Once that conversation is over and they have told you all that they could, the other person is going to walk away thinking that YOU are the interesting one…

Because they best way to become “more interesting” in the eyes of others… it does not come down to what you say, but how you listen and what you do not say. You are more interesting when you are more interested in others… again, the power of silence, ears open – mouth shut.

And here is the deal… if you are having a discussion, and you do have your brain engaged figuring out your reply, or the story that you are going to up theirs with… well, you are not really listening and at a deeper level, people sense that… so when you catch yourself winding up and waiting to get your chance to speak, table that and start listening again… and when the break does come, instead of “telling” someone something… ask them something… let them talk.

One of my favorite sayings that Melissa shared with me a very long time ago is this… “If you do not want people to get your goat, then do not tell them where it is tied up.” That is rather self-explanatory if you think about it.

The power of silence – you cannot put your foot in your mouth if you are listening and your mouth is closed… that about sums it up.

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – A Certified Life Coach In Aspen Colorado

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Photo By Andy Wooten 07 December 2016

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