We Need The Negative

need the negativeSometimes I waffle on how I feel about the idea of “positive thinking” and always focusing on the up side of everything. Yes, I think it is important, but at same time, we all need the negative in our lives and for a very good reason.

We Need The Negative

This rather explains what I mean… you can stand while staring at a pile of cow manure all danged day thinking positive thoughts about it. You can think about how that pile has the potential to fertilize the soil, nourish plants, and what not, and you can even find ways to be grateful for that steaming pile of poop to feel even better about it.

But think positive about it as much as you want… at the end of the day it is still going to be what it is and none of the positive thinking in the world can change that reality. IT IS STILL POOP!

Positive thinking only changes your perspective on reality… it does not necessarily change reality from what it really is. And as powerful as positive thinking, or reframing might be, it can only bend reality so danged far… You can’t think a pile of manure into being a pile of gold. (That is unless you sell manure and fertilizer for a living.)

The point here though is not to beat up on the idea of positive thinking or having a positive mindset or anything like that. The point is this… we have this almost fear now of any and all negativity, negative feelings, and negative situations to the degree that we ultimately just bury our heads in the sands of denial rather than solving anything at all.

We need the negative in our lives if for no other reason than to lend balance. How can you ever appreciate what is good if you have never experienced anything that isn’t so good or even bad?

Negativity, adversity, pain, discomfort, and even suffering… it all makes us better. We learn, we grow, improve and evolve not in spite of the negative things in our life, but because of them.

Yet we will do almost anything to avoid anything negative because it “feels bad”.

In the short-term, this might work, for a bit… that it until it doesn’t. If you believe that what we resist persists – you will understand exactly why we need the negative things in life, if no other reason to “learn those lessons” and move on to greater things.

Maybe this is me just expressing more of the”realist” side of my personality, or maybe it is because I am so burned out on all of the positive and uplifting senseless memes, sentiments, and platitudes bouncing around the internet 24×7 that only serve as momentary distractions rather than providing any real solutions to life or life’s issues.

I just think that sometimes we tend to or try to focus so much on the positives that we completely miss the point and fail to fully appreciate everything, both the good and the bad, while ignoring the need for negative all at the same time.

Andy Wooten M.A. Counseling – A Certified Life Coach In Aspen Colorado

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photo credit: Nicholas Erwin Bokeh Drops via photopin (license)

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